Tag Archives: post partum body project

Learning to Love the Post Partum Body Week 9

I have a 2 month old, officially. When I was pregnant with Lia someone told me it takes about 8 weeks for a new baby to adjust to the outside world but I think it takes me about that much time to really fall head over heels in love. The beginning is so instinctual: feed, change diaper, snuggle repeat. There is so much going on physically, mentally, emotionally.

Last night I was driving home and was thinking about how much life right now feels like it did when I was in my 20s living alone in Chicago with a goofy grin on my face walking to my apartment in the middle of the night from a party or other gathering and feeling so happy, exhilarated, some natural high of contentment. It was a period of time I refer to as the “great love affair with myself”. Motherhood, especially the beginning feels very much the same, at least for me. I feel giddy. Its an opportunity to fall in love with this new, beautiful being and a chance to fall in love all over again with my husband and daughter and our family. Its so cool how much love this little guy has brought to us in such a short time. I’m so thankful I had that time to myself, that my husband and I had some time with each other before having kids, that we had time with just Lia…. I’m just thankful.

At the same time there are moments when I have a really hard time seeing this new version of my body. I didn’t get any stretch marks with Lia so it never occurred to me that I could get them this time around and yet here they are all over the place telling their own story of how we got here. I tried my best to sit with those feelings yesterday as my ego got the better of me. It is slightly ironic that I was wearing maternity clothes at 9 weeks pregnant already thinking, “I look huge!” and here I am 9 weeks post partum out of maternity clothes and thinking the same thing and in either instance the number on the scale didn’t really change anything about what really matters in life (and I probably am not even as big as I think I am). So, there’s that.

Learning to Love the Post Partum Body Week 8

This week I have to give a huge shout out to Breastfeeding USA. We went to the West Dundee chapter meeting and it was the biggest turn out they have ever had. It was really neat to see so many moms breastfeeding and supporting each other. It was also super cool to see so many variations of the post partum body.

When Lia was born there was a gang of us with new-borns on maternity leave. It felt like being in a protective bubble. I was surprised at how self-conscious I felt about nursing around people when Ian was born especially since I nursed Lia for so long in all sorts of settings and how isolated I felt (still sometimes feel) Nursing a new-born is uncharted territory, being a new mom no matter how many kids you have is still being a new mom. Going to the meeting made me feel not so isolated and it reaffirmed many things for me, not just breastfeeding related.

I cleaned out all of my maternity clothes from my closet this week as well as all the clothes that won’t fit for some time so that when I go to get dressed only things that will fit are options. Its been very liberating. I’ve felt really comfortable in my body all week. I also feel really strong, which is a great feeling. Friday I took the kiddos to the splash pad which is a good distance round trip, pushing an almost 40 pound pre-schooler and babywearing a probably close to 15 pound infant made me feel like I was training for a mountain climb. 🙂 The scale moved down 1 pound this week which felt very motivating as well.

Lia and I went on our first “date” since the baby has been born. It felt really good to reconnect and be fully present for an hour. Sometimes I see the look in her eyes when I’m failing miserably at not losing my cool when I’m asking her to do something and she’s not robotically complying saying who are you and what have you done with my mother?! I hate those moments for all of us. Being alone together really helped with feeling touched out and feeling recharged for another week of motherhood.

Here are week 8 pictures. And a look at where I started. The human body is so very amazing.

Week 8

2 Days post partum

4 weeks post partum

8 weeks post partum

Learning to Love the Post Partum Body week 7

Week 7.

There has been alot of surrendering this week, especially of expectations.

We braved Woodfield mall today during back to school shopping no less. I bought some pants even though I’m hoping they won’t fit for long. The scale hasn’t shifted since giving birth but obviously there is change happening.

As far as this second sweet child of mine goes it seems worth noting that this week he’s really started to come alive and seems so present.

On the SAHM self care front, this week I went to a girls night in a beautiful friend’s garden and we had a coloring party.

Learning to Love the Post Partum Body Week 6

6 weeks, 6 weeks already. Can someone tell my son to stop growing so fast?

I snuck away for a haircut this Saturday and the stylist asked what was the hardest part about having 2 kids. It was tough to answer because nothing really seems “hard.” I took a walk today and pondered it. (we took a walk to the green park which is about 2 miles round trip and another good long walk by the walking path)

What’s hard about being a mother of 2 is that just like being a mother of 1 and I imagine a mother of 3 is that you are a completely different person. Its not to say that being a mother of 1 is easier or a mother of more than 1 is harder its that you are different. I wonder if that’s what the stretch marks are really all about, a gentle reminder every morning that you are now so much more than you were before this soul was placed in your care and you are forever changed physically, emotionally, spiritually etc. First the body has to stretch to contain this new life and then so does everything else and there are growing pains in that. There are moments when its hard to remember that old life that really isn’t so old, when my 3 year old felt small on my lap and now feels so so big especially when both of them tangle up in my arms. What’s been hardest is not having the time to adjust to being a mother to two, to having a husband that is a father to two, or a daughter that is now also a sister. What makes this the hardest is the expectation to have it all figured out right away. Having a second child isn’t like having the first again. Its easy to want to compare and yet there is really no way to.

I hope some of that made a shred of sense, is there a big hormonal shift at 6 weeks post partum or maybe it was the blue super moon? Here’s to week seven feeling a little lighter. Oh, and Happy Breastfeeding week!

Learning to Love the Post Partum Body Week 5

I’m late to blog this week because we were at our annual family campout this weekend, and we survived 5 week old and all.

This was a big week. I started walking. Monday we did a half a block and Lia searched for dandelions. We haven’t done more than a block and a trip to the school park yet but I’m looking forward to being able to walk to the parks again very soon.

I took the kiddos to the farmers market by myself and was able to babywear, push a stroller all while sipping a cup of coffee and we got everything we needed at the market. I felt like a rockstar. I will try to post the kale scape recipe I whipped up. It was so delicious I could eat just that for dinner.

I’m typing this while rocking, my snuggled up squishie in a moby. This little man is not so little. He gained 4 pounds in a month so that is another great accomplishment.

Thursday I snuck away for an hour to get a pedicure. I’m trying to consciously carve out some time for self care. I’m really looking forward to taking my first yoga class soon.

I’m finding I’m missing my girl. She has gotten so grown up these last 5 weeks. I remember hearing someone say no one told them how much they would miss their older child when a new one came so I thought I was prepared for this. She is just such a delite and so much fun to watch but she doesn’t seem to need as many mama snuggles as she used to. Its very bittersweet.

I’ve observed over these last few weeks that the only time I seem to feel exceptionally good about my body is when I take my weekly photo. Its exciting to see the subtle changes and it’s the only time I don’t feel like I should be a certain number on a scale or certain clothes should be fitting. Its nice to take a moment and say wow look at all my body has done. Here’s to another week of wonder.

Learning to Love the Post Partum Body Week 4

Week 4

This was our family’s first week trying to find our new “normal.” It started off a little rocky. Ian made me a new perfume of baby boy pee, breastmilk, spit up and my tears of exhaustion. It took Lia almost 4 weeks to find her breaking point and had one day where in her words, “I don’t like my brother ANYMORE!” A few one on one snuggles and adequate sleep and she is all lovy dovy again. Its taken longer to recover this time and mostly because of my own unrealistic expectations. I’m learning slowly how to ask for help but I admit I’m pretty terrible at it. I got some much needed rest yesterday.

I was thinking that the first few weeks of pregnancy so much is happening “behind the scenes.” Cells are dividing, all sorts of things are developing and from the outside it appears as if nothing has happened. The 4th trimester is alot like that but in reverse. Its pretty incredible what the body goes through in such a short period of time. I feel like a inch worm as I feel parts of me expanding and contracting, bones shifting. Consciously taking pictures each week is a really nice reminder of just how much change is happening and a gentle reminder to be kind to myself and the process. Here are week 4 pictures and a comparison from week 1 for perspective. I admit I decided to only do a side view picture because I couldn’t bear to look at the front view ones, no less post them for the world to see but seeing the big picture leaves me in awe. Aren’t our bodies amazing?

Week 4

I have not changed my eating habits. (we made caramel chocolate chip cookies today) I haven’t started any kind of exercise habits although I’m looking forward to it and will start with walking soon. I have not been consistent with binding but find it has helped quite a bit with finding my core strength again, that and deep belly breathing whenever I think about it. My priorities continue to be healing and establishing a healthy breastfeeding relationship.

2 days after birth 4 weeks post partum

Learning to Love the Post Partum Body Week 3

How do we have a 3 week old already? Some parts feel like a whirl wind and lots of it feels like a whole lot of sitting around. I over did it this past week and paid for it in extra soreness and more couch time. My body is craving some good cardio, a sweaty yoga class that makes me cry and a good swim but I’m not quite there yet, that’s when it feels like a whole lot more than 3 weeks of “resting.”

It seems we are coming out of a growth spurt otherwise known as normal new born behavior and I witnessed the first and cutest milk drunk smile today. Maybe we are finding some semblance of a routine? Ask me again next week. Ha! I’m still having quite a hard time making a decision especially when it comes to what to eat. My appetite seems to be slowly coming back, I wonder if I will have any good nursing cravings like I did with Lia.

Tomorrow starts our new normal. Christian’s paternity leave is over. It just got super real.

This all started back here.

Learning to Love the Post Partum Body

My baby boy is 2 weeks old already. How did that happen, I was just feeling like I might be pregnant for ever. I’m still processing my birth and recovering although every day I feel more and more like a person again. I will share it soon.

Its really ironic how whenever I get pregnant I can’t wait to wear maternity clothes and enjoy the growing roundness of my belly then at the very end of pregnancy I can’t wait to wear my regular clothes again and it takes so long for either kinds of clothing to properly fit.

Its really quite amazing what the human body is capable of. It feels as though there are 2 in-betweens. The last few weeks of pregnancy and the 4^th trimester. There is so much to still be in awe of in what the human body is capable of but sometimes the desire to fit back into prepregnancy jeans diminishes all of that. Somehow without any effort on my conscious part my body house and helped grow a whole entire person, then with some effort my body expelled said person and now it is continuing to sustain this tiny person’s life again with no conscious effort except for the desire to eat lots of baked goods still through human milk. Really, how crazy and amazing is all that? So I’m trying my best to be kind to my post pregnancy body. It really is a perfect design. Every time the baby needs to nurse it is a gentle reminder to lay down and relax so I do and revel in the sweetness of a baby on my chest. There is no greater feeling than a snuggling baby against your skin. When I see all of my new stretch marks I smile and refer to them as love marks (and I’m not going to lie I also repeat as a mantra my body releases excess weight with ease).

So here is my 4^th (+) trimester project in pictures

40.5 weeks (the day before birth, Sarah the planet)