I’ve spent a lot  of time this week contemplating my addiction to sugar. I’ve always considered myself to be fairly health conscious with a generous love of sweets. My diet improved greatly after Lia was born and seems to be doing more so after Ian except for the last week or so. On Thursday I woke up and could feel the last two weeks of minimal rest and lots of poor choices nestled into my guts like glue. It probably didn’t literally accumulate overnight but it almost felt like it had. Is this the whole cortisol, stress, sleep thing? I wondered. Where is my strong center? I almost pouted. Ok, I definitely pouted. 

When I don’t get adequate rest I make poor choices because I’m already in a clouded haze. I drink usually one cup of tea in the morning but lately the occasional latte has turned into a 3pm survival tactic. My body literally felt like it was running on artificial energy, mostly because it was. All the caffeine and sugar almost made me forget about veggies too. Almost a whole weeks worth is hiding in the fridge. Feeling like crap isn’t always enough to jump start a change for me but early in the week I noticed a familiar rash when changing a diaper. L had it as a baby and it was a a dairy allergy. I don’t usually do a whole lot of dairy and we very rarely have milk in the house unless I need it for a recipe. I had a sneaky suspicion I knew what it was: Ben and Jerry’s and lattes.  🙁 Its been a few days since the junk is out of my system and the rash is fading and I’m finding my energy that isn’t laced in jitters, that and going to bed earlier. I’m finding some joy in the quiet moments Ian and I share together before the world (at least in our house) is awake. I’m hoping this 5 pound weight in my center dissolves as quickly as it arrived.

On another note, I graduated from PT this week too. It was really awesome to see tangible results in my strength. I promise a blog about the process one if these days. I’m up to my neck in knitting projects for the holidays at the moment. 😉 

Week 21